


Do I Have To Say The Words?

by chasingastarlight



Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Benedict comes back home with bad news, M/M, Sophie exists here, Tom is sad, just happen to love Hiddlesbatch, once again i must say i absolutely respect Benophie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 14:02:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4609461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasingastarlight/pseuds/chasingastarlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom and Benedict had a fight and they've been apart for a month until Benedict eventually comes back home with a secret that could end everything between them... or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do I Have To Say The Words?

Tom was sitting on the couch in his living room, a glass of whiskey placed on a table near him, unfinished, just like his love story with him. Him. Tears came to his eyes remembering the face of the man he once loved so much, well, he still loved him, but it had been a month since they last talked. They had an argument, just like any couple in the world, right? Well, not exactly, they had an argument the night his boyfriend had a premiere. And he got drunk, as always, but that night he didn't come back home with him. That night he stormed out of his house shouting, angry as he had never seen him before, and just like that he disappeared into a fancy car, on a no return trip. That was the last time he saw him. The last time they spoke was next morning, when Tom received a call from him, confessing that he slept with a woman. Tom didn’t even let him finish, he couldn't get himself to hear the details of how he had been cheated. And that was the last time he heard from the man he loved. His man. His Benedict. 

September was ending and he couldn't think of fall without the older man by his side, he couldn't think of winter - those cold and bitter winter nights - alone without having him pressed up against him under the multiple blankets on his bed. How could he even think of life without Benedict? It was too much for him to handle, and this last month had been hell for him, he just wished to receive a call from the other man, telling him how sorry he was and begging to come back home, which he would gladly accept. He was in love, after all, he would forgive anything in order to get him back. Anything. He took a sip of his expensive alcohol and stared, for long, outside the window. It was raining, and it was pretty cold for a September afternoon, he imagined being there with Benedict, cuddling while watching a movie, eating popcorn together or playing a game and laughing at each other when they messed up. He missed that man so much, damn it, he was a fool for thinking he would ever come back, it had been a month already. A fucking long month without those dashing blue eyes, without hearing that deep and sexy husky voice every morning… he missed everything and he didn't even have the chance to tell anybody, because they weren't out of the closet yet and no one knew about them. No one. He felt lost, empty and betrayed. He hated Benedict so much, yet he loved him so much... he couldn't think properly when it came to him, love got him blinded, and he couldn't fight it. Suddenly, he started crying, he hugged himself and turned into a ball on the couch. Sad and miserable for a man who didn't even care. «Great, Tom, you really made a fool of yourself this time» he thought. After a few minutes sobbing uncontrollably, he stood up and went to the bathroom to clean his face. His eyes were still red, but he looked acceptable. Just in case. In case of what? In case he came back exactly tonight? Yes, just in case of that. Always waiting for him, always feeling disappointed when he realised it wasn't worth it.

He spent the rest of the day reading some old books he had already read, just to lose himself into the good memories they brought him, but also because he remembered very well the old days with Benedict laying beside him while they read those lines, and he was so weak all the time he had spent all the month just like that. Pathetic, yes, but what could he do? It was love, he knew it since day one in the set of War Horse. That man caught his eye and he couldn't deny it. He felt a connection between them, and he thought Benedict could feel it too so, one day, after a week of spending nearly every second of the day together, he decided to take a step further by stroking his back during a lazy night watching movies in his trailer. Benedict didn't stop it and, in fact, he seemed to enjoy it so he kept on doing so until, eventually, the older man turned to face him. He couldn't exactly remember what he said, but he could remember exactly how it felt when their lips met for the first time, in a soft and shy kiss. He remembered how he couldn't help but smile when Benedict slowly cupped his face with his hands, making the other man smile himself. He remembered every single detail of that magical night and it used to make him happy and full of joy, but now all it did was sink him deeper into nostalgia and sadness. He looked at the clock. Too early to sleep, too late to go to a friend's house and cry pretending to be sad about something totally different from what really happened. He thought of calling some friend and come out, but he decided not to do it, 'cause he always imagined coming out alongside his boyfriend, and that dream still remained. He went to the kitchen to prepare himself a sandwich for dinner when he heard the ring of the door alarm. His heart started to race, it was the most logical option since it was already late and none of his friends would show up at this hour without sending him a message before doing so. He pressed the button that opened the door outside and waited until he heard a soft knock on the front door to open it. There was him. His man. The love of his life. The only person he wanted to see. After a month, Benedict was back at his door.

-Can I come in? - Benedict asked.

«This man is an idiot» Tom thought while opening the door further in order to let him in, not saying a single word until they both were sat on the sofa, each one on the opposite side.

-What do you want, Ben?

-I missed you, Tom, you gotta believe me but I was a coward and I couldn't tell you what I've decided to finally tell you now. I know you will anyway but, please, don't get angry at me.

-That depends on how good your excuse is.

-She's pregnant, Tom. Pregnant.

-The woman of that night!?

-Yes, but I... I didn't know it, well of course neither of us knew it, she told me a week ago and... I couldn't decide whether to tell you right away or not because we were angry and...

-So you were thinking of not telling me at all? Lovely - Tom replied coldly.

-I didn't say that.

-I don't care, the fact is that you've been gone for a month. You didn't even bother to call. Not even a fucking message. And now you come with this and I guess I have to be quiet and listen as you make up a million excuses because that's what Tom the idiot does, isn't it?

-Tom, you're not an idiot, and I'm not expecting you to be okay. I don't have any excuse. It was childish and horrible from me to act the way I did. But I always wanted to call, message... I just, I thought you didn't want me to.

-Did you really think that?

-Yes, I did. Forgive me, please, I love you so much... you know it's true.

At that moment Benedict already had tears in his eyes, ready to fall down and make their way down his sharp cheeks. Tom wanted so badly to kiss him and tell him it was okay... he couldn't stand seeing the man so sad. But he had to he strong.

-So what are you gonna do with the baby?

-She wants to have it.

-Great.

-Tom please love listen to me I don't want to, I want you I didn't ask for this and you know it.

-All I know is that you spent a whole fucking month apart and you come back now that you're scared. You're a selfish man who doesn't deserve me to forgive you...

-Tom please I...

-Let me finish. You don't deserve it, but I'm an idiot, and I'm in love with you. I have to forgive you.

Tom started to cry and Benedict jumped to the other side of the sofa to hold him, crying as well as the younger man. If they had stopped sobbing, they could probably have heard the sound of their hearts healing in unison. They were both broken. Tom didn’t know till which point Benedict had suffered during the month, thinking he had fucked up everything and that Tom would never want to see him ever again. Getting drunk in endless nights alone crying himself to sleep because he couldn't stop loving him. Tom didn't know how many times Benedict's hand had rounded around the phone, deciding whether or not to call him and end their pain, to never do it in the end. Tom didn’t know that Benedict had confessed his friend Martin everything about them two weeks ago because he couldn't stand the pain alone. But there was something that he knew very well, the fact that Benedict was saying the truth. He was in love with him. They were in love with each other and it was meant to be. They could get through everything, even this unborn child. He wasn't gonna give up that easily, he couldn't give up his happiness like that, so he turned around to face the man he loved and kissed him tenderly, letting his lips speak all the words he couldn't say, showing the older man that he was ready for anything to come between them, 'cause absolutely nothing could ever destroy their love.


End file.
